Soul

It Shoots Up Through Stony Ground (U2) I’ve often thought that many lyricists are our modern-day poets. In years gone by I was often beset by excruciating, and at times soul destroying….cycles of anxiety and depression. The kind that has you running and hiding (hiding under beds and running to other states – of place and of mind). If you’ve experienced either of these conditions then I don’t need to explain further, it’s sometimes quite a painful thing to try to explain that which is, ultimately, unable to be explained. The inability at that moment to manage the vagaries of life, the point at which overwhelm sets in. Most of us experience it, what is more important however, is what we do when we find ourselves in that place. I remember my 42nd birthday… one of a few that I have had in my life (what is it about birthdays?)… where I am just not able to look the world in the eye. On this particular morning I was lost, wanting to hide, and just stay under the covers. I literally could not get out of bed, despite the fact that I was in a fairly good position at the time (to some anyway) working as a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company (hahaha), a beautiful son, and a partner who loved me – all good, right? Except No. Just no. I had lost myself from an existential perspective… I had lost myself from an existential perspective. I was living in a way that was not reflective of my true self, and in so doing, I had placed myself in the wrong environment, and surrounded myself with the wrong social group. Let me say though, part of my depression was that I had placed myself in the right and wrong situations on many many occasions prior to that. As capable as I was, my anxiety would slowly unravel the situation, slowly unpick the person I had set myself up to be. I was now heading toward a sizeable list of something like 30+ jobs… and it begs the question, what is the true cost of Anxiety? But that’s another story. So on that beautiful November morning when I was unable to move my mind or my heart, my 11-year-old son walked into the room with a small hand-made card – not pretty – but just perfect on that morning, as he had made it himself. On this card he had drawn (in lead pencil) a flower growing out of rock base – and then he said the words of a song he knew I played a lot at that time… ‘the heart is like a bloom, it shoots up through stony ground’ The words are of course from U2’s gorgeous song ‘It’s a Beautiful Day’. My son’s not silly (for all of his attempts to make me think he is), and he knew it was a favourite. I still wonder though, how he found his way to those two lines… on that morning?  Whatever it was, the idea helped me find some courage in my heart, and I was able to see my way out of the darkness that had descended. Working as a sales rep in those days I was on the road a lot, and as I would drive around the music I listened to in the car would inspire me, lift me, and encourage me. This has really been the way of things for most of my life… music has been my saving grace, and I recall that Edgar Cayce once said that… ‘music should be a part of every soul’s journey’ if they were to progress.’ So here’s to those great muso’s that really do light our paths along the way! My coffee table dream book At some point along the journey, I started to make a list of songs with the hope of one day creating a beautiful and visually inspiring coffee table book. My vision was to take the song (words + music), and give to someone who was experiencing (or had experienced) a ‘dark night of the soul’ – and ask them to listen with their heart, and then interpret the song visually. How do you imagine these words, these ideas? What emotions and ideas do they invoke in the deepest part of you? Then to lay the visual art piece side by side with the words in a gorgeous sleek and colourful book, that someone could pick up and sit with, contemplating each word, each image and each note – as an inspiration to healing. I have developed quite a list over the years, and I hope one day to create a history of words and music that inspire us to look for beauty, to see one another with compassionate eyes, and to dance! to laugh… or to simply ‘just keep going’. Some are magnificent. Some are gentle. All are healing. So here’s to those that really do light our paths along the way – it had to be their intention – so if we ever meet – the drinks are on me! #givetheguruabourbon #musicforthesoul #So(u)lution Therapy    

Dream interpretation through the practice of intuitive writing This is a soul based interpretation that came from reflecting on a dream I had many years ago. I’m not a poet so bare with me as I really wanted to share the beauty of this experience with you 🙂 Beautiful Bejeweled and Brilliant Blue Horses… In this dream I was walking (with another person) down a very long, straight dirt road. On the other side of the road 2 monks (or 2 persons dressed in brown robes) were leading two magnificent beautiful blue horses. They had jewels plaited into their manes, jewels plaited into their tails, and jewels sewn into and adorning the blankets across their back. We walked (in silence) for a very long time… the longest of times, until eventually we came to a city that had a high wall, and 2 very large ornate gates. As we approached the city, the 2 men in robes, who had not spoken a word, handed me the two horses to lead in through the gates. They then fell in behind me, following me in. It was almost as if this was the only way for them to enter into the city, I was there to help usher them through. I’ve had fun over the years attempting to interpret the dream, and my interpretation also seems to change as I change. Others have also given interesting accounts in regard to their understanding of it, all of which I appreciate 🙂 A little while ago I wrote this down when in a contemplative state – and only found it again recently. I hope it is received with the same energy in which it is offered Blue Horses WILD and DIVINE My Beautiful Blue Horses Where will you ride me today? Stunning in your beauty Glorious in your light Adorned with the gifts Found deep in the Earth My head is bowed, but… My heart is lifted! Lead me through the gates Of Space and Time I await my future Self With passionate patience All cultivated within… MY BEAUTIFUL DIVINE HEART   Channeling the Higher Self Using creativity as a way to open to and engage more fully with our intuition, or higher (soul) self is one element of the So(u)lution therapy course I have created. To use a game analogy, it’s important to understand why we’ve chosen to ‘enter the game’ so to speak. This is knowing your Soul Purpose. I think the next elements we need to explore are the rules of the game (karma/universal law), and what it is that we have to play the game with (different aspects of consciousness). Once we have that on board (pun intended! hehe) – we want to develop skill in the game. This is where we delve into meditation, dreams and ways to channel our higher self so that we really awaken to our intuition. The last part of the course is where we develop ‘skin in the game’, and we do this by digging into more traditional psychology, but from a mystic perspective. So, while I am no poet, and I personally prefer to work with dreams and meditation – I have to lead by example! And I see posting this as quite the achievement for a girl with anxiety. Taking the win 🙂 #asabovesobelow *The beautiful artwork that accompanies this post is a copy of Blue Horses on the Beach by Lee Vanderwalker #SO(U)LUTIONTHERAPY is a soul driven therapeutic coaching model for those in search of their divine heart

This little Ode to the Lilly came about when I was attending a retreat on Integral Psychology in Ubud, Bali, a couple of years ago. As part of the retreat we had to participate in an exercise where we went out into the beautiful grounds to sit with nature for an hour or so. Just one thing though, we were to come up close to just one beautiful part of nature and spend some time there, connecting through the heart. After that, we had to come back and write something – and then share it! Well, my anxiety went into overdrive. But I managed to do it, and in doing so, I learnt more about how to push my ego self aside a little, and just be in the pleasurable gift of the moment by moment experience. I chose a Lilly as this is one of my fav Edgar Cayce teachings – how we learn to turn our face to the light of the divine, even in the midst of the hardest circumstances. Ode to The Lilly ‘What lessons to have to share with me oh beauty divine’? I asked Quietly, gently…the answer came… Swampy water, muddy feet Not the sort of place that you would rest your feet Willingly, Knowingly And yet, I know the secret… It matters not to me where my feet may be But where my heart is As I turn my face upwards to the Sun To the Light It warms me and nourishes me It guides me And as I show the best of what I have to give I am rewarded With the most beauteous of flowers As I am shown, so now I show you Beautiful flower Show your strength in adversity and muddy surrounds Show your gracious heart to the Son And turn your smile toward the LIGHT The Divine Within and Without and you will have…  Learned the Lesson of the Lilly #SpiritualPsychology #So(u)lution Therapy #Spiritual Life Coach